Communication
“Who Am I? or Who I Am!”
My name is Oliver Quesada, working multiple roles in the Physical Education/Recreation fields while trying to find out who I am throughout this Saturday hybrid communication skills class at NDNU. But to know a little more about me; I’m a Filipino American born in SF, King to two princesses and a Queen whom I love so much, and on my way to achieving a Bachelors in Human Services so that I can gain more experience in the business/non profit areas. (in class: props to be used/brought)
The question, “Who Am I?” is more than just trying to figure out who I am or what I want to become. In this communication skills course, I dig deeper into finding who I am rather than questioning who am I. So in order to find out, I collected results from PACS, worksheets, the reading material, class discussions, and more to investigate the person that I am now because I’m being more aware of myself.
The First Day:
I didn’t expect anything coming in because this was a course suggested by Professor Madden, but the first day I already sensed that there was going to be a lot of social interactions and speaking in front of everyone. It was fun getting to know each other by doing the class warm up as an ice breaker. I found out how “Getting Acquainted” was a lot more fun asking questions we wouldn’t normally ask and trying to fill out the work sheet by walking up to everyone in class as it gave me a chance to know a little bit about each other. I found out many common things, but was more intrigued about the things that made us unique. It was a cool way to remember my classmates names and be more familiarized with each other rather than just by face.
Interviewing
The next exercise was interviewing which was a good way to get to know each other more. I was partnered with Javier Munoz, who’s a really friendly guy and learned a lot about him within minutes as we shared things about ourselves. This created a quick bond as I had someone in class I could talk to about assignments and have common ground with other things. So for this “Interview”, we were able to introduce ourselves to the class by having each other introduce one another which was a great way to communicate, listen, and respond. It was a good way of comprehending what we learned and seeing that we understood about each other as we were able to explain in our own words instead of ourselves doing it.
Imagineering
We were able to watch Randy Pausch in his “Last Lecture”, who was an imagineer for Disney that was dying of cancer. He was an inspiration to many people as he talked about his dreams becoming a reality. There were many things Randy said during his last lecture that really stood out to me. One thing he said was, “People who care will remind you or tell you about your mistake” and that was very important to me because we need to learn from our mistakes. Feedback is important so we need to listen. We can’t succeed unless we fail or keep trying. We can’t get to where we want to go alone, so being there for each other is what helps makes us accomplish our goals. Together we are “Giant” is a motto the SF Giants say, and I believe that.
In Pausch lecture, he emphasized about a brick wall. It symbolized not to keep us out or stop us, but to go through, around, or over it. One of the best things I learned from his lecture that connected with me was him talking about sports teaching life skills because it does. I’m a Physical Education Instructor, coach, and athletics trainer so I understand the importance of social skills which involves teamwork, physical development, and ability to adapt to multiple or different situations. “The Head Fake” was a great way of teaching something that isn’t clearly what you're trying to teach such as having fun while doing something difficult or when I teach my students a game but they are actually exercising yet they don’t know it. (in class: use a ball to pass around for a teaching moment) R.I.P. Randy Pausch! Gone too soon, but not forgotten.
POP PRESENTATION?!
I thought this was going to be like a public speaking course, but it was more of realizing how uncomfortable I was speaking in front of people. It’s interesting because I speak to groups of people everyday at work and I feel like I’m ok talking with them. At first, I thought its because the topic or what I’m speaking is something I’m passionate about because I’m confident in what I’m talking about so its easier for me. Yet, for this no preparation presentation about “Influence in Speaking” really caught me off guard and I felt awkward because it was so unexpected. Then it made me think about conversations that happen out of no where, but I can continue talking. I found it very confusing for myself, so I had to figure out why I was nervous.
Body Language
After our spontaneous presentation, we were able to read and watch a video analyzing how to read body languages. I thought it was intriguing yet funny at the same time. Its crazy how we are able to sense, see, and figure out what people are really saying just by how they are moving or the way their face looks. Even actors or trained high profile people have awkward social interactions while speaking to the public, so this made me think about how I am when I have to speak in front of a large group of people. From what I know, I can either rush or take too long talking. Thinking back to the presentation in class when I spoke about my experience speaking, I challenged myself to move around but only moved from one side of the room to the middle then stayed there. When I was in front of the class room, I tried to look at my other classmates but felt awkward staring at them so I don’t know if I panned away too quick. Whenever I did that, I would either look at the floor, ceiling, or Professor Arbore. Going back to the film I noticed I fidget with my hands because I think I’m nervous. After thinking about how I presented, I hoped to do better the next time.
Cheryl’s Fortune Cookie
The fortune cookie exercise was very interesting as I immediately connected with the two quotes/excerpts that I randomly chose. This exercise was a spontaneous topic, but we were able to prepare a little bit this time and work with a partner. I got to work with Hank who ended up having one of the same quotes that I did which was, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” I connected with this because I believe that the first step is the hardest, but once you take that step then its becomes a little bit easier after that.
The quote that resonated with me the most was about maturity. “Maturity is not based on talent or any of the mental or physical gifts that help you ace an IQ test or run fast or move gracefully… that person has said a multitude of noes for the sake of a few overwhelming yeses.” - David Brooks (2015) At a young age, I learned a lot about responsibility and being “mature” because of my parents. I was blessed to be raised by parents who helped guide me growing up and showed me care as well as constructive criticism that pulled me up rather than push me down. I was always helping fix things with my parents to learn a lot of hands on and necessity building skills. I’m also the eldest of 3 brothers, so I always had to care of them as well as be a good role model too. Being the oldest gave me more responsibility.
I started working at the age of 15 1/2 because I wanted to work instead of having my parents pay for my things. I grew up learning the more you give, the more you receive so I also volunteered at the food bank and hospital too. I was doing a lot to prepare myself for college and my career by gaining the experience needed just like how you mature not just by age but through a process or growing and learning.
I had a daughter at the age of 22 and was working multiple jobs after graduating community college and ready to transfer to Cal State East Bay to try and complete my degree in Kinesiology. I was working, married, and taking care of my family while trying to care for myself. I was blessed to have the support of my parents and utilized everything I learned from them to my work ethics, parenting, and life. Being mature was just something that I acquired at a young age because I held myself accountable for a lot of things. I wanted to do more and always stayed busy. We get older, but that doesn’t mean we’re more mature. Just like a fruit, not just time but the effects of everything else leads to a ripe fruit. (in class: bring a fruit!)
In my presentation about maturity, I was able to create a visual using a drawing of my face with an open mind which I created a story. I’m a visual person, so I wanted to use the board and my creativity to add onto my presentation. I noticed I was able to look at people longer, focus my attention by using the drawing to speak for me or make the communication clearer for the audience, and use more hand gestures than before. I felt a little more comfortable around my peers. But I still think I wasn’t organized enough and ended up speaking too fast or unclear because my concentration was on the visual part of this presentation, so it was another learning experience for me. It was still kind of nerve racking for me even when I try to psyche myself up. I was able to read the feedback from my peers which was mainly positive, but with opinions to enhance my presentation which was to speak clearer and have less “ums”. I will take everything in and hopefully improve on that!
Personal Assessment of Communication Style
The PACS, was a great way for me hear back from my peers, some friends, and family about how I communicate. It was cool to get feedback as I always wondered how I was when speaking to my students, staff, or other people. It was good to have a lot of positive, but I really appreciated the ones that had some things to say to help improve my communication skills.
I was kind of shocked to see some of the answers, but realized that in those rare instances I was like that. Some were able to tell me that I can get very defensive sometimes when it comes to specific topics. I am very passionate about what I do and teach, so when someone tries to tell me what to do when they don’t know what or why I’m doing it, then it becomes a problem as if I feel like I don’t know how to do my job. For example, a supervisor who knows the business side of things yet tries to tell me have the kids run for a jog-a-thon the whole day when that’s too long or a parent who has no basketball experience tells me how to coach the team after a loss when I know how hard the players work.
These PACS really made me think about the Assumption Paper I did as people looking from the outside in only assume what they know or want to believe. Many people think I get paid for a lot of things things I do, but some of it is volunteer and most of the time I spend my own money on equipment for the school or treat the players out for a team dinner/lunch. I look young, so people often assume I’m some high school or college kid trying to tell student athletes what to do but I’m in my 30s with over 10 years of basketball coaching/training experience, a degree in Physical Education, personal training certifications, coaching licenses, sports nutrition cert, CPR/AED, and more. Then when they finally see my work outs and drills I do with the kids, so they stop or end up changing their perspective on me which is funny. This is a big part of who I am and only want to be treated with the same level of respect, vise versa. I just want to be able to give back to my community and be a good role model for the youth.
Johari Window
In the book and our packet handout, the Johari Window was a better way to understanding myself and examining the overall openness of my communication. I saw that when it comes to my best friend, its a lot easier and open compared to sharing it with my parents. Then comparing my window with strangers its either unknown or hidden. I see that integrating it with my presentation skills, the way I communicate is just the same. I’m a lot more comfortable and feel like I’m able to speak like myself when talking to those I trust or know. I feel that I can prep myself to be confident, but its different when I’m naturally in my comfort zone.
When I had them do a Johari Window for me, the way they perceived me was similar and different. I change from nervous to relaxed or talkative to shy depending on whom I’m around or the setting. I love to laugh, talk, have fun, but some see me as serious, quiet, or mysterious. I think it depends also if I’m working, with family, friends, but I don’t want people to think I act differently just because I’m around certain people. This is when assumption can take place again, which I try to avoid by being myself for who I know I am. This is one of those changes that I personally have been trying to make because I want to be comfortable and dependent on my own actions, not because of who I’m around. Change can be difficult, but it's not impossible. I believe change becomes easier once you allow yourself to make that change.
CONCLUSION
Be aware or beware? Who I am or who am I? These are great questions that can also be changed to statements like who I am and be aware! Just like how easily these can be changed, so can we. We often think change can be bad, but there is also good in it as well. Anxiety comes from the anticipation of something from happening and when it does, it turns into fear. I always tell my daughters and my students that the only way to overcome fear is to face it. Once you do, you become stronger, more confident, and brave enough to tackle any “brick wall” that gets in your way.
I’m more aware about myself now then I was coming into HSP 2203 at NDNU with professor Patrick Arbore. I understand that I have the ability to change and be better than I was before. Randy Paushe said, “Value yourself by adding on experience, be good at something. Experiences is what you get when you don’t get what you want. Don’t complain, work harder.” Just like in the gym, you work hard to be stronger/faster than you were before coming in, so when you get out your a bigger beast than you were. Having that mentality when I play or coach sports, I have to bring that same energy when presenting or speaking to an audience. I know what I have to do now and continue to do it even after this class because it’s important to be aware of ourselves in every aspect. My name is Oliver, I will graduate, reach my goals, continue to succeed, push forward, and make my dream a reality. I know who I am now, do you?
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